We leave the cracky ass hostel in chicago and start a mad dash across town to catch the bus to milwaukee. It's so cold, me and van are both dressed like eskimos and still freezing our asses off. It's so cold that me and van are struggling to breathe, and then when van grabs out the puffer – it's fricken frozen!!!!!
Anyway, we get to milwaukee and even though we didn't think it was possible, it was colder than chicago and there ws snow everywhere. We check in to our hotel and go eat at a diner down the road that was recommended to us by the hotel reception. um note to self, george webbs diner – sucks ass. We went shopping in grand avenue all day and chilled out back in the room for a couple of hours before heading down to the hotel restaurant “speak easy” for dinner – the meals are massive and so cheap! but seriously, are burgers like america's national food? they're fucking everywhere! sick of looking at them!
After dinner we hit the irish pub around the corner for a few drinks and were then going to head out to a club, but when we walk into the pub we realise that they were celebrating prohibition day and they were selling 75c beers...called SCHLITZ! (hahah german for slits) of course, giving 75c beers to team vange, is like giving free crack to crackwhores – so naturally we overdosed and got so freaking blind. and then, just in case the 75 cent slits, sorry schlitz, weren't enough – we thought we'd do some shots! van asks for cowboys, no one knows what she's talking about, so she explains it and the barman goes “oh yeah, we have that but we call it a buttery nipple” (BUTTERY NIPPLE? WTF!!). anyway, we do a few rounds of these and then these promo girls come round with shots of whiskey, but unlike the tarty promo girls in sydney clubs who sell you disgusting drinks for exorbitant prices...these shots were free! so what does ange do? helps herself to two..at a time....
Anyway van makes friends with a munchkin called shane butts (hahah butts) and while they are making gooey eyes at each other, im challenging munchkins mates (who weren't munchkins by the way) to rounds of whiskey shots... fifteen minutes later im dunzo and ready for bed (or a bathroom). so me and van stumble outside and munchkin butts follows. while van and buttsy are talking...im entertaining myself by climbing into road barricades and playing jack in a box by myself. van and munchkin butts have a domestic outside the hotel and van starts going off at him while im sitting inside watching and pissing myself laughing. we finally make it upstairs...just in time for me to curl up next to the toilet because i've never been so sick in my life and whilst im spewing my own version of a goulash..van is on the phone to timmytam, jabs and steve. hhahah gold times.
We wake up the next day at 2pm, and i feel like im dying until van gives me a hairy lemon – hahah thanks champ!!! we go to applebees – just like in talladega nights - for some greasy food, and then hang out at the amtrak station waiting for our bus back to chicago – can't wait for round two with the crackheads at the hostel.
Much love,
Ange
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