This is me
and this is my best mate vangina septipcle flaps (don't ask - she's sensitive about her condition).
and together, we are running riot across America for 3 months!
Our first big trip, and although she's slept in my bed for like 6 nights in a row when she's trying to steal my family...it's the first time we'll be in each other's face so much. Considering she broke my nose by trying to forehead slap me last weekend, i'd say we are off to a fantastic start!
When I'm in America:
I plan on taking photos like these at disneyland:
I plan on drinking ALOT of this:
I plan on stalking the following person:
and also tracking down this whore so i can bitchslap her for stealing brenda's man:
I hope the bus seats are more comfortable than these:
otherwise i'm going to be on the hunt for these....cos we all know how much i like to sleep on a potplant:
I'm really scared then when i'm in Vegas, i'm going to be so drunk and forget to marry a random at Elvis's chapel
i hope that if i do remember to get married and am choosing a potential husband for a trashbag impromptu wedding, that i'm NOT wearing my beer goggles
but secretly...i hope this guy just happens to come along and marries me and I end up queen of the keg house:
I hope I don't get arrested for following this guy. Remember, it's not stalking if they like it.
I also want to track down this girl, so i can help her bitch slap Speidi.
and hopefully she'll introduce me to this guy, so we can discuss my second marriage and we can start making plans for our big day:
If Vanessa brings one of these shit ass feral avocado pizzas into any of our rooms, i'm going to be forced to punch her in the face and break her nose too.
and lastly, despite the fact i have my eyes closed (even i was scared of my dirty blonde shazza hair) and my brother looks like a crazy eyed psychopath - these are the people i'll miss most when i'm gone.
As for the rest of you, you all know i will miss you too(like crazy!), but deep down we all know you'll miss me more.
Stay tuned for daily (yep daily! i'm taking my laptop for this exact reason) updates on the shenanigans of Team Vange. Their mission? Rid the world of alcohol...one drink at a time. (well..maybe two drinks at a time, i've got two hands, and i don't want to waste time in bar queues - that's just silly)
Love you all long time (sucky sucky and all that jazz)
Ange
xox
